It's all some hoo-doo voo-doo.

A few weeks ago, for the first time ever, I went to Mardi Gras. Mr. Flairy and I drove about 1200 miles to New Orleans to experience the music, parties, drinks, beads, parades, port-a-potties, and FOOD!


I wasn't gluten free yet, but I knew it'd be my last hurrah before cutting wheat out of my diet. So I went nuts. I couldn't get enough red beans and rice. I got it from fancy restaurants, average restaurants, sketchy restaurants, and even street vendors. It was crack, and I was an addict.


On Fat Tuesday, we'd been in New Orleans nearly a week and were almost Mardi Grased out. We attempted to stay away from Bourbon Street and skim the edges of the French Quarter perusing shops, cafes, and anything else that caught our fancy. There was just one thing on the to-do list: check out a voodoo shop that was an authentic locals destination, and not some touristy "look at all our voodoo dolls" place. The very first thing we realized in our travels is that just being in New Orleans meant sh!t was going to get crazy. We had barely crossed Canal (the "border" between the business district and the French Quarter) some 6+ blocks north of Bourbon and had to pick our jaws up off the ground as we watched roving bands, mini-parades of people just dancing in the street (some to imaginary music!), costumes the size of 2-story buildings, and an atmosphere that was downright intoxicating.


We're not sure if it was some hoo-doo voo-doo that eventually got us there, but we finally landed on the front stoop of a circa 1760s home that had been converted into a shop. Inside, all manner of items could be found. There were jars and vials atop a glass bar with an attendant ready to measure out your brew-making ingredients, dried plants and grasses for your burning and cleansing needs, and of course the obligatory voodoo doll. 


One thing I hadn't counted on was a shrine to Loa (the spirits of Louisiana-style voodoo). Physically speaking, it was a non-working fireplace. Inside the fireplace were various religious texts, so that one could use the shrine for their flavor of god. Atop the mantle, a small wall had been built on the perimeter to keep offerings from falling off. There was a small pencil and scraps of paper nearby. Inside the mantle box, from end to end and front to back, those tiny pieces of paper with all sorts of wishes were wrapped around offerings like cigarettes, beads, marbles, and even cash. For a moment, I wanted to read some, but I am too firm a believer in karma. I did give the only thing I had on me -- a piece of gum and a Bacchus (nonsense & tomfoolery) parade coin. My wish was for a successful journey into a gluten free lifestyle. 


The spirits responded.



I hadn't been back home but maybe 5 days before I began planning a red beans and rice dinner. Although Zatarain's had been good to me for decades, I knew it was time to graduate. Not only to ensure that I remain gluten free, but to give New Orleans the nod it deserves for my week's worth of living on red beans and rice and booze.


I researched a lot. I combined portions of recipes that I liked, adjusted others to maintain GF, picked just the right sausage, and spent all afternoon pouring over my red beaned baby. The result was something I wasn't expecting. Don't get me wrong. I expected good. But I didn't expect something that would take me back to the street vendor on St. Charles as we were waiting for the Krewe d'Etat parade. Or the pricey Oceana restaurant off of Bourbon Street. This recipe folks, is one for the Moleskin. I think I'm in love.


New Orleans Style Red Beans and Rice
Gluten Free. Dairy Free. Vegan (omit sausage). 


1lb dry red kidney beans
4 cloves garlic
1 large onion (2 cups chopped)
4 celery ribs
1 large bell pepper (about 1.5 cups chopped)
3 bay leaves
2 teaspoons thyme
2 teaspoons cumin
1 teaspoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon red pepper (ground is best, but flakes are okay too)
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 teaspoons Liquid Smoke (hickory is best)
1 tablespoon Tobasco sauce
14-16oz Andouille sausage (I used Johnsonville New Orleans Brand and l-o-v-e-d it!)


salt, to taste
steamed rice, to serve


I'VE GOT TIME WAY: Cover the beans with water, about 2" over the beans. Soak overnight.
I AIN'T GOT NO TIME WAY: Cover the beans with plenty of water. Bring to a boil for ONE minute. Remove from heat and let soak in the water for at least an hour. Drain beans and then rinse.


After rinsing, return the beans to the pot and cover them with 2" of water (above the beans). Cook on high heat while you prepare the other ingredients.


Chop the garlic, onion, celery, and bell pepper very fine. You could use a food processor for this. Once it's all chopped, add everything to the bean pot. Add the remaining ingredients *except salt and rice.*

When the beans begin to boil, reduce the heat to med or med-low. Make sure it remains simmering, but not boiling. Cook the beans like this, stirring occasionally, for 2-3 hours. What you are aiming for is for the beans to be completely tender and falling apart. Add more water if necessary. If the beans never fall apart, it means they are old beans This is not a bad thing! Just scoop a bunch out, mash them up, and return them to the pot. 


About 30 minutes before serving time, pull out your sausage. [giggle fit!] No really, grab the Andouille and cut it on a diagonal with 1/2"-3/4" pieces. Put them in a skillet (no oil needed) over med heat. Stir them around often and let them brown up a little bit. Once they've got a nice little sear on them, tip the skillet over into the bean pot. Sausage, grease, and all. Of course, you don't have to do the grease bit, but Mr. Flairy and I both thought the flavor of the sausage grease added a little something nice to the beans. And if it's a good sausage, it won't have a ton of grease...just a little bit.


When they are completely tender, add the salt to taste. 
IMPORTANT -- Don't taste it before you add salt. I made this mistake and then experimented in tons of condiment cups wondering what I did wrong. In the end, it's the salt that brings out the spices and flavorings, so wait until you add it before giving a taste test.
Add any additional spices or Tobasco that you want. Remove the bay leaves.


Serve over rice. Close your eyes and try not to get pelted with Mardi Gras beads. :)


TIP: Make sure you rinse your rice until the water runs clear. Additional starches and powders are ALWAYS on rice out of the bag. Rice tastes better and cooks better if those starches are rinsed off first.


TIP: For some reason (any food scientists out there, feel free to enlighten us!), the red beans and rice are even more spicy the 2nd or 3rd day. If you don't like a lot of heat but love leftovers, go easy on the red and black peppers and Tobasco.